Want a Free House?

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by Steve Field (Guest Contributor to I Am A Texan)


I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind

a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the coming implementation

of the health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what


They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard the

young man exclaim, “Isn’t Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all,

he is healing the sick.”

The young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, “Yeah, and he does it for

free. I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market would

work for health care.”

Another said, ‘The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so

they can inherit all of the power. Obama should be made a Saint for

what he did for those of us less fortunate.”

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At this, I had more than enough. I arose from my seat, mustering all

the restraint I could find, and approached their table. “Please excuse

me; may I impose upon you for one moment?”

They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of

their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

“I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money,

and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live

there. Anyone interested?”

They looked at each other in astonishment.

“Why would you do something like that?” asked a young man. “There isn’t

anything for free in this world.”

They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just

made my point.

“I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money whatsoever.

Anyone interested?”

In unison, a resounding “Hell Yeah” fills the room.

“Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to

who receives this money-free bargain.”

I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle

unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent


“I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey

my rules.”

Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on

their faces.

The perky young woman asked, “What are the rules?”

I smiled and said, “I don’t know. I have not yet defined them.

However, it is a free home that I offer you.”

They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, “What an

old coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds,

old man.”

I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. “I am serious, this

is a legitimate offer.”

They gaped at me for a moment.

“I’ll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?” boasted the youngest

among them.

“Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?” I asked.

The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from

the privacy of their table. “Oh hell yeah! Where do I sign up?”

I took a napkin and wrote, “I give this man my home, without the burden

of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms

that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction.”

I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out

his signature.

“Where are the keys to my new house?” he asked in a mocking tone of


All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the

keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

“Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all

of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated

to adhere from this point forward. You may only live in the house for

one hour a day. You will not use anything inside of the home. You

will obey me without question or resistance. I expect complete loyalty

and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you. You will accept my

commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature. Your morals

and principles shall be as mine. You will vote as I do, think as I do

and do it with blind faith. These are my terms. Here are your keys.”

I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumbfounded.

“Are you out of your mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous

terms?” the young man appeared irritated.

“You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding

it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only

after you committed to the agreement.”

The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was

looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people.

“You can shove that stupid deal up your a** old man. I want no part of

it!” exclaimed the now infuriated young man.

‘You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your

friends. You cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do

not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared. I am the

power you agreed to. I am the one you blindly and without thought

chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your Master.”

At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group

against the unfairness of the deal.

After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my

true intent.

“What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you

with the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then

revealed the real cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief

that you can have something you did not earn, and for that which you

did not earn, you willingly allowed someone else to think for you.

Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to

escape you. You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee.

Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it to you. A

freedom that is given can also be taken away. Therefore, it is not

freedom at all.”

With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished

young man. “This is the nature of your new health care legislation.”

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation — and

was surprised by applause.


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The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand

enthusiastically and said, “Thank you, Sir. These kids don’t understand

Liberty .”

He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, “You earned this

one. It is an honor to pick up the tab.”

I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled and

sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

Remember, four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the

jury box, and the cartridge box.

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10 thoughts on “Want a Free House?

  1. What utter rot! This whole essay is written on the level of the average fifth grader, which I would imagine is appropriate for the intended audience. But to then wrap it up by throwing in a reference to the second amendment and gun control when it has absolutely nothing to do with the Affordable Care Act and the original topic at hand negates the entire lesson the author was trying to teach with the essay.

    • obviously scottishlass is a liberal who has no grasp of the obamacare. Try reading it, there is a backdoor passage for gun control is obamacare. It is written on a 5th grade level & obviously still over the heads of most liberals as she proves.

    • Rot? Are you serious? The average fifth grader, I assume you are referring to a TV show? Throwing in the second amendment, it is more along the lines of Freedom and constitution summed up as four boxes.A rather nice play on words,as a matter of fact. My friend, Scottish Lass, you had better remove your head from your…I pass, I will not say. It’s seems you did not learn a thing from the story… Too bad but as you state sometime one must have the brain power of a fifth grader. . . Get it now?

  2. if only all can see the pretty present that they try to offer . yes its pretty but still a pile of steaming crap. Sad when our President refused to say if he would use this health plan when he leaves office . Remember For the people By the people , they work for us . Any other job if you dont do your job your fired so why not fire all these people that refuse to do their job that we sent them to do

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