The North Koreans Messed With Texas

by Boyd Taylor

Immediately after North Korea successfully fired a rocket and exploded a nuclear bomb near Austin, Governor Perry sprang into action. From his bunker deep under the George H.W. Bush Library in College Station, he rejected aid from the federal government. “This is why we have the Texas Rangers,” he said, announcing that he was sending legendary Ranger Chuck Norris to deal with the North Koreans.


When one of the three reporters to survive the blast asked if Norris could handle the job alone, Perry replied, “One Korea, One Ranger.” When told there were two Koreas, he said, “There won’t be when Chuck gets through with them.

To a reporter’s question about rebuilding Austin, Perry smiled and said, “It’s an ill wind that blows nobody good.” Austin will be declared permanently uninhabitable.

“That’s just making it official,” an aide said. “It always was.” Texas A&M University will be renamed “The Texas A & M University,” and state government functions will be transferred to Washington-on-the-Brazos, where the original Independence Hall “will be more than sufficient to house all the government that Texas needs.”

Boyd Taylor is the author of many Texas short stories and the book “The Hero of San Jacinto” which is available by clicking here.
For a short time, anybody who purchases his book will be given a free “You May All Go To Hell And I Will Go To Texas” bumper sticker.


13 thoughts on “The North Koreans Messed With Texas

  1. Ok, ha, ha, simple humor. However, I find no humor in the threats from N. Korea as a mom of 7. What am I going to do if all heck breaks loose?

      • And you are obviously too selfish to procreate. My kids are well behaved, straight A students, get scholarships etc. I have one at 14 in college MR. Donkus. So be careful who you judge. It is uncool to have a large family when historically speaking it used to be the norm. Hope you feel really good about your permanent birth control. My heart is where I put value. Where is you heart.? You do live in Texas! Isn’t Texas supposed to be nicknamed the Bible belt or something. I have no shame in my opposite sex spouse, one marriage for 23 years and the likely outcome with 7 kids. Get a life and don’t advise a complete stranger on her Love life much less call her stupid. I am a UC Davis grad….go figure I am just a stupid mom to a person like you……

    • Yes, once again ha, ha. At least one of them is at college in a different state so maybe we won’t all have to duck. But I still have a baby at home and not sure if ducking is going to do any good! I do live on the West Coast. OOPs not Texas but I wish!

      • Well if you lived in Texas instead of on the West Coast you would not need to worry as much as you are at this point. The lil N. Korean mental midget does not have the ability to touch Texas with a weapon, that is not brought in by a terrorist. And just to make you feel better the mental midget has no weapons able to reach the W. Coast either. Texas happens to be the best of all places, we have the balls that Obama doesn’t.

  2. I still can’t stop laughing….I am so proud to be a Texan and I wear my hat proud and true….NOBODY messes with TEXAS! NOBODY!

  3. Too Funny. Humor alwaysw makes my day go faster. I am PROUD to be a Texan & its not many people who argue with me. The fact that I am now living in NC helping my daughter and 2 grands and a brand new one from my son, means I am sorta stuck here with my Rebel flag, Texas license plate, best sayings from Texas, and my pride stands out.

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