University of Texas Athletics Hit New High!

by Boyd Taylor

It has been a record year for UT athletics. Football, basketball and baseball have all placed in the bottom of the Big 12 Conference standings. 


According to Athletic Director DeLoss Dodds, “We are finally getting the program where we want it to be. The money we are spending on athlete amenities is finally paying off in better  adjusted student athletes, free of the win-at-all-costs atmosphere present at so many lesser rated schools. ” He went on to say, ” Our supporters are contributing millions so that our players do not have to win.  No wonder UT is the most profitable athletic program in the Nation.”
The only dark spot on the scene is the performance of UT track and softball teams, which have been at the top of the conference.  ”I feel sure that our alumni will meet the challenge and we will be able to provide the full UT experience  to these programs, so that these athletes can be freed of the debilitating need to win.” First up are new training rooms with recliners, 66″ TVs , hot tubs and  all the other training room amenities expected by UT athletes.

2 thoughts on “University of Texas Athletics Hit New High!

  1. Well, the Big 12 is now a second rate conference. So, not performing to the best of your ability is expected. If you desire to be a champion, UT is not the place to go.

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