THE BEST FRUIT CAKE RECIPE YOU’LL EVER FIND

posted by staff

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You’ll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of Texas Silver Star Whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Image

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Milk maybe. Moooo. Haha that’s the sound a cow makes.

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Tune Offen the grease. Turn the cake tine to 350 degrees or 375. Donut forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed. zzzzzzzz…..

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